Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
I’m cool, I’m hot….I’m everything you’re not
You and the bank own a very lovely home
I would tell ya to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
You don’t buy the drink here, you only rent it
The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
Earth first. We’ll screw up the other planets later
Only in America do they buy a double cheese burger, large fries and a DIET COKE
I’m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes…